Past.

The past is the past but it will always hurt. Some things are easily forgotten.. some, however, are not. But it is possible. I've had my fair share of ups and downs, but i'm finally at a place in my life where none of these matter. I've learned how to forgive in these recent months and i have seen how truly precious this gift 'forgiveness' really is.
I have had some really, truly terrible things happen to me. Things i never, ever, in a million years thought i'd let slip through my fingers. But the truth is i did. And sometimes, loving or caring for someone just isn't enough. You just have to let them go. This one, oh boy, this one was tricky. Its not easy to say goodbye.. but it can be done. I would know. Anybody who really knows me knows that it can be done. Maybe not on your own terms, but you will eventually let go on your own terms.

In order for one to grow, one must first face trials. Good and bad but more noticeably the bad. I am so grateful for trials. I have become such a better person with the ones i've had to face. I know they were meant just for me. And this ties in to forgiveness. I've let go of the trial. I've let go of the hate, confusion, loss, brokenness i felt inside.. and i forgave. I hope they know that. It truly is past. The time to move on is well past due and i'm already there. :) So i guess i'll take a minute just to say thanks.. Thank you. You know who you are.
--Lace.

Love and Getting Older

Love.. hah. such a cliche topic i know. But i figure it fits quite well with my life right now. :) Tyson Blu Peterson came into my life and he is such a great blessing. I am so glad and lucky to have him. He is literally me in boy form.
So.. If anybody knows the story you'll understand this a lot better and how it ties into my opening. Some people think that 'growing up' requires you to have a lot of money and be able to have your own place with money in the bank and suddenly being able to support someone. Not that these people are wrong, but i beg to differ. I think that those things simply say you are well off in your starting out. For as long as i can remember 'growing up' has been being able to decide for your own; to be able to make smart, right decisions on your own as a responsible adult. It never had anything to do with being able to support someone or how much money you had to your name.
For example: Someone very dear to me is struggling for work.. both husband and wife. They have two kids, and have only been married for a short three years. BUT! through these trying times, they've told me that they're glad they started off their marriage struggling and facing trial after trial because it brought them closer. They now know that they can deal with these sort of problems TOGETHER. And they will love each other no matter what. Then in the future when they are well off, they won't have to go through this later because they've already gone through it now and have gained that knowledge and trust in one another.
Love is a strong, powerful, beautiful, sacred bond. It gives our mind wings and makes our souls take flight. It makes us humble and more understanding. It helps with patience and trust.. and above all, it shows us how to live. So why wait?! For anything! Live, Laugh, LOVE.!

Simplicity

There are so many things that go on in life. Happy, crazy, sad, chaotic moments. Its part of the process of living your life. I am at such a pivotal moment in my life right now. Lately, more often than not, i've been feeling super overwhelmed at the rate things are changing in my life. People are moving, going on missions, getting married, joining the army.. and i know that some of these great, truly amazing people, i'll never see again. But, life continues. Somehow in the midst of the chaos we must become at peace with life. We need to accept the fact that there is simply nothing we can do. We can give it our best but that's it. We can only do so much. So count your blessings! If you look at the negative in life thats what you'll get out of life.. negativity. So be happy! Laugh too much. Smile too wide. Sing at the top of your lungs. And dance even if people ARE watching! Let go. Be free. Live life happy!

I've realized that everytime i'm down on myself and the way my life is, i'm less in tune with the Spirit. But i have also come to find that when i realize the previously stated fact i become at peace with my life. I lift my worries up to Heavenly Father, read my scriptures more, pray like crazy, and become more active and excited about church again. Never stand idle. Probably some of the best advice i have ever received. Always grow. Every situation is a learning one. You just have to find out what you're learning  :) So enjoy life. Find happiness in simplicity. Because well, its all we have right now.

Life Goes On

Recently my family experienced a death with a 'brother'. His name was Jay. I've known Jay for as long as i can remember. He wasn't just my brothers best friend.. he was my brother, their brother, a father, my moms unbiological son, and a husband. When we die, we leave all of these things behind. It has now been a month since we lost Jay, and i keep finding myself thinking... Life goes on. That is probably the hardest thing we deal with after a loss. We can't put everything on pause or rewind. From that moment on things will never be the same. We walk around with a constant void in our lives because he or she is gone and nobody can ever replace them. We can't grieve whenever we want to because if we show our true emotions in public people think we want attention and we have to show that 'we're tough'. So life goes on. Nobody is going to wait for you to get over it or cope with what happened.. and life sipmply continues with that precious loved one gone..
It also came up in a short conversation between myself and a sibling at how this can't be it. There has to be something after this life. God wouldn't let us suffer like that. Its too beautiful to end here on earth. I find extreme comfort in knowing that i am able to be with my family forever.! It is amazing. This sibling also said that they aren't so scared to die because Jay is there waiting for us. Now that someone is there, dying seems less scary. Personally, i'm not afriad to die. But i never thought of it that way. That there are already so many people in heaven waiting for us to return home. This isn't the end. This is just a test of our faith. Heavenly Father will allow us to be with our families forever. All he asks of us is to be diligent in keeping the commandments and follow the guidance of our prophets. He's promised us a lot for so little from our end. We are forever in debt to His precious son, Jesus Christ. I know that families are forever, and i can not wait to see them again and be with them always. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Balance.

As human beings, we must not seek happiness.. but balance. Balance in life is so important. Even in nature, there is life but there is also death. We must thrive on the good and the bad. The second part of that statement probably doesn't seem very appealing. But! It is necessary. There will always be good and, more noticeably, bad. There will always be ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and terrible weeks, hard times in life and times where we have our heads in the clouds. This is all just an act of human nature. If we didn't have emotion we wouldn't feel any of these things. Or if we lived in a world where only good things happened.. no balance. So, in result, there would never be true peace or happiness. We'd always be searching for something more. It is simply an act of human nature.
Personally, i thrive on trials. Simply because i know from personal experience that there is always something to be learned and gained from even the toughest of situations. Had we not had the experiences we did we wouldn't quite be the person we are today. Maybe you're not happy or pleased with yourself that you did something, or maybe you wish you had said something different. But guess what, you didn't. End of story. There's no changing it. You can't reverse the hands of time. So you have two options. One: sit and waste your energy regretting it. Or, two: Accept it and move on. Because in that exact moment in time, whatever you did or said was EXACTLY what you wanted right then. Perhaps now you would react differently, but then you didn't learn anything from the situation. We are constantly changing. That is the beauty in life. So if you can accept change, truly live your life with no regrets, and glorify in your hard times as well as your happy times, you will have found personal balance in your life a lot easier and sooner than others, and you will reach complete, utter happiness. :)
~Lace:)

Remember..

Remember is such a strong word. My great friend Arica Page taught me that. Life is crazy at times and can get us down so easily. The negative is more often noticed than the happiness and the positive outcomes of our crazy day to day lives. We get so caught up in a small problem that when another little matter happens.. we notice that one even more. Eventually, this happens over and over and builds up inside until we're so stressed out or depressed in our human nature, we forget the happiness somewhere along the way. I've experienced this many times and usually it takes just a taste of my happiness to help me realize that i am happy. Among all the trials and tribulations that i face, i couldn't ask for more and i would go through them all again if it meant i was going to get where i am today.
Being a convert is so amazing to me. I have to work extra hard on keeping my testimony alive. I will never forget the happiness the gospel brought (and still brings me) during the time of my conversion. I have never experienced a truer happiness in my life. The light of Christ had completely consumed me. There was simply no doubt about it. Keeping that light is so important. Even i lose it. But i have come to learn that staying true to the gospel, yourself, and your testimony will bring you complete joy. I forget that sometimes. Its not easy and nobody ever said it would be.. but its life. Its simply beautiful. I see the hand of the Lord every day in my life.. if i take the time to look. There are countless blessings right in front of me that i take for granted more often than not.
Life is:
Crazy. Fun. Amazing. Emotion. LIVING. Taking that leap of faith, even if you don't know what the outcome may be. Living on the edge. Spicing it up! Having a testimony. Dancing. Singing. Life is art. Poetry! Music. Photography. Tickling. Smiling. Tears and pain. Loving another person so much you feel like your heart might explode! Making mistakes. Repenting!! Praying. Staying true to yourself. Having secrets. Being blunt! :) Holding a hand. Running. Leaping. Soaring. Falling. Dreaming. Working. Beautiful. Splendid. Joyous.. and above all of these things.. Life is hard.
But remember these are all the things that build you. These things are you. No matter who you are. Regardless of your background our your upbringing. These things represent us all. And in that similarity, we are not alone. Remember that.

~Simply Lace